Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
