you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
