i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
