I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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