I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
