I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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