No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
