And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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