i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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