no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i love accidental penises.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
