By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
