soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
