btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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