My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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