i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
