The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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