I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
