i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
