U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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