i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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