Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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