Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
