your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
