yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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