big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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