Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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