When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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