so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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