May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
