what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
