Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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