It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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