She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
