I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
