I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
