are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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