wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
