So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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