i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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