I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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