I'm going to jail i love you
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
