i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
