Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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