clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
