Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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