sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
