I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
