I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
