I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
