you turned your livingroom into a bong?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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