I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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