did you get engaged???
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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