Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
